


A broken will

by enigmaticma



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Dubious Consent, M/M, One Night Stands, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sad Ending, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-10 03:17:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20521061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigmaticma/pseuds/enigmaticma
Summary: Prompt: "Convinced by his best friend, Minseok went to a party only to get himself half-drunk. The morning he woke up from a one night stand, he realized he spent the night with the college sweetheart, his long time crush, Luhan."





	A broken will

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: The story reflects none of my ideologies or my limits. Drink responsibily.
> 
> I don't encourage anything.
> 
> The story is beta read, I hope you will enjoy it. Make sure you did read the tags before diving in.

Minseok hated parties. He hated more that Baekhyun made him go through a whole makeover and dragged him to one, "To get laid," Baekhyun always sounded indignant about Minseok's nonexistent sex life, "You graduate the university this year and yet didn't pop your cherry? Hell no, you have to get that booty smashed before your Ph.D."

Minseok only rolled his eyes at Baekhyun nagging and gave in, tired after hectic exam periods. A party was not his go-to after a hectic week but he had nowhere to go. Beer was handed to him and he looked up to a tall guy, Park Chanyeol if his memory did not betray him, who smiled seductively, "It is a rare sight to see you, Sunbae."

Minseok blushed and accepted the beer, "I was dragged here," Minseok hinted to Baekhyun who was dancing in a crazy manner, probably already drunk, "I need something heavier than this plain beer to survive this."

Chanyeol laughed and rested his hand on Minseok's back, "Come, I got a heavy drink hidden somewhere around the house," Minseok frowned and still followed Chanyeol to the upper level, noticing that few to rare people were around. Chanyeol opened a door and they were face to face with an office that included a mini bar, "My dad's office got tons of drinks so pick anything up."

"Can I really?" Minseok looked at the place, intimidated, but still picked a small bottle of vodka as Chanyeol reassured him, "Thank you."

"Have fun, sunbae," Minseok blushed more as Chanyeol left him back to the party he was obviously hosting with a promising smirk; he even felt hot. He took only a few shots when it did kick in. Vodka was a stronger drink than his normal beers; it made him feel nauseous that he dashed out of the room.

He bumped into someone and Minseok wobbled about to fall, "Woah! Easy. Are you okay?"

"I don't feel good," Minseok pouted unconsciously, "I will never drink heavy drinks again," he stomped his leg in displease and the man chuckled.

"Come," The man softly spoke and pulled Minseok to a staircase, "A bit of fresh air will help."

Minseok said nothing for a while when he suddenly huffed again, "Stupid Baekkie, dragging me to a party so I can get fucked and not being here when I am feeling sick."

The man chuckled and pulled Minseok close, "Don't worry," Minseok leaned on him dozzily," it will pass soon."

"I want to go home and sleep." Minseok looked at the man who seemed faceless no matter how he tried to focus, "take me home," Minseok whined and the man sighed before chuckling, "I want to lay down please!" Minseok was soon in the backseats of a car, a big one, and the man drove as he laid down, dizzy.

The car stopped and the man led Minseok to a bed. As soon as Minseok lay down, he pulled the man's hand closer, "Do you want to fuck me?" Minseok could barely make out the shape of the man's face as he pulled him close and his nausea was soon replaced with dizziness. The man seemed to notice so.

"You are not in your right mind, Minseok," The man's serious tone made Minseok pout again; "you don't want to do this."

"I do," Minseok started shedding tears, "I always did want to have someone to love me and doll me up, » Minseok whimpered as he sniffed, "but nobody looked my way, ever. Am I that ugly?"

"You are not ugly," The man caressed Minseok's cheeks and leaned to kiss them, "I am dying to touch you. I have been dying to, Minseok."

Minseok opened his eyes to meet the doe ones; he reached for the man's cheeks, "then touch me."

The man kissed Minseok at that. He kissed him like no tomorrow. Minseok was surprised but gave in as much, taking off his annoyingly tight pants first. The man pulled his shirts up and Minseok lifted his hands up as the man let him go. It was such a cute sight that the man chuckled, "You are the cutest guy I ever met."

"I am not cute," Minseok pouted and the man kissed his pout before pushing him to lie down. Minseok relaxed and even spread his limbs with a content sigh when he felt a kiss on his shoulder. He looked at the man who seemed as naked as he was at that moment. Minseok smiled widely as he wrapped his arms around the stranger's neck, "My heart is going to burst."

"Let it burst," The man kissed Minseok's neck in a manner that made Minseok shiver, his blood rushing down. He kissed his collarbone, licked his nipples and left few soft bites. Minseok took a moment to realize that the stranger had inserted something in his hole and it felt weird but his brain pushed it aside as the stranger reached his manhood and caressed it softly, "you are so beautiful."

Minseok blushed but could only moan as a sharp pleasuring feeling hit him like a wave. He shook incredibly as the stranger kissed him over and over. It was incredible and even sobering. The man stopped for a moment and Minseok dared to look at the man who opened a condom, wrapped his manhood with it and coated something on top. He moaned seeing the man pump himself up before facing his twitching hole, "Oh god. It is happening."

"Ready?" Minseok nodded and he soon regretted it. A tearing pain made him tense and the man seemed not to notice as he pushed all the way in at once. He paused for a moment, adjusting Minseok and changing angle until Minseok felt the electricity in his insides, making him moan loud. It was a cue and Minseok was rocked hard until he could not breathe. Not that he minded as his insides were electrified. All he could do is to moan: "Yes", "Oh, please! More". His moans soon turned into a whining as the man was hitting his weak spots just  _ right _ , in a speed that made Minseok cum all over the bed. 

He fell in the bed exhausted, about to sleep but was soon yanked up, forced to walk. He whined at the sharp pain in his butt but said nothing he stood under a shower head and felt the water hit his clouded mind. The man was cleaning him up, soaping his skin as he kissed his neck longingly. It turned Minseok on at some point to feel the man still hard manhood poke his back. It made him feel all jittery and good about it. 

"You are so tasty," the man commented, "I want to take more and more, but" Minseok shivered and pushed his butt up, receiving a squeeze in his butt cheeks, "One round is enough, Minseok."

"I can take more," Minseok felt the frustration slip out of his tone, tiptoeing to slide the man's length between his tights, "please."

"You are such a tease," the man wrapped Minseok's body with his arms, getting him close before pasting few kisses on his skin, "You want me so badly?" Minseok nodded and the man slid his hands to squeeze Minseok's shaft, making Minseok moan loud at the attention. He soon wrapped Minseok's length and caressed the head with his thumb, "Baby," Minseok relaxed and moaned louder as he grew harder, "I got only one condom."

"I don't need it," Minseok was in the verge of begging and the man could feel that. Minseok felt the man let go and he was soon alone in the bathroom. He nearly sobbed if not for the man returning. He heard a bottle pop open and was soon pulled back.

"Leave your hands on the wall," The order came a bit harshly and Minseok did but failed to hold himself up when the man filled him in one thrust. Minseok was shaking incredibly as the man starts moving, feeling the overstimulation wreck him more and more at every move. He was a mess before he could notice it and the man seemed pleased by that, giving Minseok was he asked for. Minseok's knees were unable to hold him and soon the man stopped to turn Minseok who was too dizzy to open his eyes, lifted him up and rammed inside Minseok with enough strength to make Minseok scream. 

The poor wrecked man had to hold on tight as his walls were hammered with strength. He was sobbing, whines leaving his lips, and lost sense of his legs. The man did not stop until Minseok could feel something warm fill him in. 

However, the man did not let go. He kept Minseok still on him, slowly marched to his room, and thrust inside Minseok as soon as he rested the man down. Minseok was silenced with kisses but his whines were still enough loud to fill the silence. He was wrecked for hours and could feel the man fill him more and more, to the point it dropped out of him. 

He exploded for the nth time and slowly blacked out as the man kissed his neck softly, pumped out as much. The man did not let go since.

Minseok woke up when the sun hit him and groaned at the heavy pain that spread all over his body. He did not know what happens for a moment, opening his eyes to look at the ceiling, an unfamiliar one. 

He felt a weight on him and moved to look at the man by his side when the last night memories hit him. He went beetroot red recalling how much he was begging and asking for it. His eyes watered before he could do anything and he chose to sleep back, no longer wanting to face it.

The man moved and Minseok whimpered sensing the man still inside him. It made the man pause, paste a kiss on Minseok's cheek and suddenly thrust in. Minseok moaned loud at that, opening his eyes and arching as the man moved in a slow manner. Minseok tried not to look at the man but he did and he tensed more, which made the friction more intense.

It was Xi Luhan, the university's most famous student, the ace of the football team and Minseok's rival at the end of the year project.

Also, his crush since day one and the reason he hadn't thought of dating anyone.

Xi Luhan was fucking him, kissing him and holding him close. His mind clouded as he released and he was relieved Luhan let him go. He tried to sit up, paling at his nudity, but his knees were made of jelly and he laid back in pain, "Don't move," He looked at Luhan who approached him with a cup of water and something in hand, "Here are pain killers."

"Thank you," Minseok gulped them down and looked at Luhan who walked around naked. He observed the claw marks in the man's back and blushed when Luhan looked at him. Luhan smiled and disappeared to reappear with towels. Minseok flinched at the cold wet towel that touched his burning thights. Luhan looked up to him and he blushed, "It's cold."

Luhan smiled warmly, "I am sorry," Minseok could feel the wet towel on his skin but his eyes did not flinch from Luhan's face, "I doubt you can walk." 

Minseok went pale and he looked away, ashamed of himself. He said nothing and Luhan noticed as he pasted few kisses in Minseok's thight. Minseok shivered at that but did not dare to look at Luhan. 

Luhan suddenly touched his hole and Minseok yelped. He looked at Luhan who looked at him with concern, "Are you okay?" Minseok was not but he nodded anyway and looked at Luhan who spread his legs more and was wiping something. It was humiliating but for a reason, he was turned on and had to move to stop Luhan again. Luhan looked up and soon noticed the man's boner. He looked at Minseok who looked away, looking in the verge of crying, "Try to sleep, Minseok. Your night was hectic."

"I am…" A kiss on the base of his manhood stopped him and he looked at Luhan who looked at him with a serious glare.

"You should treasure your moments, Minseok." Luhan commented, "Like I am treasuring this moment with you," Minseok blushed and blinked as Luhan approached him, "Sleep now, okay?" Minseok nodded and Luhan kissed his eyelids before covering him up and left. Minseok did not sleep per se but he realized Luhan was right. Maybe he is over thinking. He wanted to have sex at least once in his life and he did, with a handsome man to whom he had an undying adulation. He can't think of anything better than this.

He felt the door open and someone laid in bed with him so he opened his eyes by the time Luhan adjusted him to spoon him and relaxed, "Thank you," Minseok whispered and Luhan chuckled before kissing his shoulder in response. Minseok relaxed and indeed slept for a few hours before waking up by a soft nudge. 

Luhan was clothed when he opened his eyes; "Lunch is ready," Minseok nodded and noticed his back was not hurting him as much when he slid out of bed. Luhan waited for him until he dressed up and helped him walk back to the table where his phone was. He noticed the number of missed calls he had and groaned, "Worried friends?"

"Yeah, I left the party without them noticing so," Minseok blushed as he shyly mumbled so while Luhan smiled at him, blushed a little too, and said nothing, "Luhan," The said man looked up and observed Minseok who fidgeted, "can you drop me off home?" Luhan nodded, "Thank you."

Luhan indeed took Minseok home and parked a bit far from the dorms. Minseok was awkward but Luhan seemed to feel as much. He leaned a little and soon Luhan met him halfway to paste the last kiss on his lips. They kissed for a long moment before parting. Minseok had no power to say a word or to leave but he had to so he opened the door and looked at Luhan who observed him intensively, "see you around, Xi Luhan." 

Luhan had a sad smile when he waved goodbye. Minseok tried not to read on it but he did and he wondered why. He walked home, forcing himself to sit straight, and opened the door on worried roommates, plus a freaking out Baekhyun, "Where the fucks were you?"

"Asleep?" Minseok gave them his clueless look as he walked to their sides, "I am sorry I couldn't answer the phone, guys."

"We were about to kill Baekhyun for dragging you to the party and leaving you unattended," Kyungsoo commented, as he held on Minseok, "What happened?"

"I met a guy who gave me a heavy drink because I complained about being too sober for the party," they looked terrified and Minseok had to add, "I did not meet him after he did give me the drink, I actually got so drunk I left the party and slept… in a stranger's bedroom." Baekhyun gave him a look and he blushed, "We may have spooned a little but I am okay, he was nice to me."

"Are you kidding me, Kim Minseok?" Baekhyun raged looking pissed and terribly terrorized but Minseok stood at that.

"Last night is already part of my past now," Minseok looked at them, trying hard to not show his emotions, "making a fuss about it now will fix nothing," and he left at that. 

He showered, shivering under the showerhead as his body recalled bending down and surrounding to Luhan's strong thrusts. He cannot deny how turned on he was and how he wished he could have one more round. Luhan earned his respect the last few years but more than that owned his body completely the last night. Minseok couldn't hold Luhan accountable for his drunken state since he recalled  _ begging  _ for more rounds and enjoying the new sensations. He realized he was more eager to get laid than Baekhyun and it made him chuckle. He surprised himself a lot last night.

He cleaned up and left the shower to notice the mark on his tights, he turned to see how abused his bottom was, gasping at the bite marks, "When did he bite me?" 

He left the shower to dress up, lifted his boxer and pants in time as Baekhyun got in and froze, "what…?" Minseok was supporting a boner already so it made him more embarrassed than before to face Baekhyun, "You slept with that stranger?" Minseok nodded, putting a shirt on, "How was it?"

"I am still…" Minseok paused, fidgeted and sat down as Baekhyun approached him, "He was… perfect," Baekhyun made a dramatic move and Minseok chuckled, " He made sure I was okay and allowed me to sleep a bit more, he even spooned me."

"You got it good, hyung," Baekhyun teased only to notice Minseok's state, "I can see it is still affecting you."

Minseok slapped his arm, embarrassed, "I tried to cool it off, okay?"

"I think Soo got a dildo he can borrow you," Minseok went crimson but did not stop Baekhyun from looking through Kyungsoo's stuff. The two had passed that stage already. He fished a big purple dildo, around the same thickness Luhan had, and Minseok nearly choked in his spit, "Is it enough?" Minseok nodded shyly and Baekhyun threw it to him as he reached the door, "We will get some snacks and movies, I will make sure to be out for an hour at most," and bam! He left.

Minseok would have laughed if he was not burning to try it on. He was still a bit stretched so he simply coated it with coconut oil as he got in the shower cubicle. He had seen such dildos and knew it did stick to the wall. He undressed, caressing where Luhan's touch lingered as he pushed it in. It was big but he could handle it and he soon was breathless as he moved harshly enough to release himself. He kept the dildo in as he dressed back, realizing that it made him feel less confused about his emotions - and maybe the fact Luhan kept his length inside him all night was a beautiful feeling. He dressed back and sat down, barely moving but giving himself enough friction to leak.

The guys came back and not alone. Luhan and Chanyeol got in as well, "Minseok, I met these two on my way and invited them in!" Baekhyun announced, "Luhan and Chanyeol are in my music club," Minseok nodded to them, shy and embarrassed. Why would Luhan come to his place was beyond his mind. Yet, here he was, talking to Chanyeol as if he did not notice Minseok. Chanyeol on other hand made a spot by Minseok who froze; he rested a hand on Minseok's hood and slowly caressed the fabric with his hand.

"I did not see you after we met in the party," Minseok glanced at Luhan who was looking at them and nodded, Chanyeol just chuckled and pulled the hood «aren't you hot in this?"

"I just showered, so I can't take it off," Kyungsoo showed up at that, "Can I have your blow dryer, Soo?" Kyungsoo nodded and Minseok dashed to his room, fetched Kyungsoo's blow dryer, and stood in front of the mirror with it on. He dried his hair, inspecting his marked neck, "shit, I can't take it off."

Arms wrapped him and he jumped when he noticed Luhan rest his head on his shoulder, "Are you okay?" Minseok nodded, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," Minseok whimpered it as his tears bubbled up and he looked down to Luhan's hands on his stomach, he leaned further back, "now, I am."

He did not know why he said that. He didn't care. Luhan tightened his hold for a moment and soon did let go before touching Minseok's butt. Minseok blushed but said nothing until Luhan suddenly pulled the dildo out and pushed it back in. Minseok gasped and held on the sink with Luhan still holding his stomach. Luhan did so for a while until they were called and Luhan did let go, picked a brush and brushed Minseok hair. They faced each other and Minseok noticed Luhan's tent. Baekhyun got in before he could touch it and he simply rested his hand in the sink. 

"What are you doing?" Luhan just showed Baekhyun his hair, "nice, it looks good."

"Thanks, Luhan." Minseok's voice was shaking but neither Baekhyun noticed nor did Luhan react to it. Minseok took his time and luckily the only spot left to sit on was next Luhan. The film was already on and Minseok could only side look at Luhan who was focused on the film. 

The film reached a romantic turn, where the characters were looking at each other, letting their eyes express their sorrow, and Minseok looked at Luhan who looked at him. Minseok blushed but didn't look away and Luhan smiled at that.

He even offered his hand to Minseok who eagerly took it. It felt like they were not going to see each other again and it probably was the case. They had to submit their project and then they graduate officially. 

No courses.

No accidental meetings.

Minseok felt sad by the mere idea that all he could get from his crush is a night, a drunken night above it all. He realized he was devastated by the idea. Luhan suddenly squeezed his hand and Minseok looked up from contemplation to see him frown so he smiled a little. It didn't ease Luhan's frown at all. 

The film was over and they had to let go from each others as Baekhyun asked him to pick another film while they get beers and snacks. He sat on the floor, taking care of it, when Chanyeol spoke, "So, when are you going back to China?"

"After I submit my final project," Luhan answered leisurely, "My dad wants me to start the internship and get ready for my position in the company as soon as possible."

"Bummer," Chanyeol commented, "I wanted to get you a girlfriend before you go."

Minseok tried to not make a sound but Luhan's answer made him literally slam the CDs down and walk out, "I am going to marry my office, dude."

Minseok left the building and walked all the way to a nearby park, getting more frictions from the dildo, and sat down. He was not crying. He didn't want to. 

Dark thoughts crossed his mind and he had to physically hold himself from thinking further, "Fuck it. I knew it was not meant to be since I met him but this is unfair," Minseok groaned, "Why it had to be like this?"

He noticed someone approach him and jumped a little, yet it was Baekhyun so he relaxed, "Are you okay?" Baekhyun sat enough close to sense Minseok’s shaken self and hugged the man, “what happened? Everybody was shocked by that, you know...”

“Luhan is my crush, you know that,” Baekhyun nodded confusedly, “he just told Chanyeol he is leaving to China after five days and I didn’t get the chance to even let him know how I feel, that is why I left the house,” Minseok sighed, resting his head on the wooden bench and looking at the clear sky, “I feel like someone stabbed me million times,” Baekhyun pouted to him and rested his head on Minseok’s shoulder. 

They remained there for a while and Minseok soon felt enough strong to face Luhan again. Thankfully, Luhan was the only one home. “Where are the rest?”

“Kyungsoo and Chanyeol went to buy beers and Jongdae just went to his room,” Baekhyun left them for Jongdae, and Luhan stood to approach Minseok, “are you okay?”

“Am I?” Minseok answered back, only to sigh, “I don’t know.” Luhan stood enough close to pull him to a hug, “I know you see me as a sex driven person, Luhan.”

“No, I see you as a man I want to spend my life holding this close,” Luhan bluntly admitted and Minseok tensed unable to tell if Luhan meant what he said or he was just hallucinating. Luhan tightened his hold and buried his nose in Minseok’s neck, filled with regrets and led by guilt as he knew he he was a major part in Minseok's state “Last night was a dream coming true, I didn’t expect it to happen.” 

Minseok felt both increadibly happy and extremely sad. He knew nothing will come out of his discussion. “Neither did I,” Minseok answered the hug. They remained silent for a moment, “When do you have to go?”

“Friday at most,” Luhan pushed Minseok away, frowning at the broken expression in the man's face, “why?” 

Minseok looked at him pitifully, “don’t think of it as if I’m…” Minseok looked down, “I just wish we could spend a day together; I wanted our night not to be a one stand thing.”

Luhan sighed, regretting showing up in Minseok's life after dropping him off. He knew from the second he got in the house that he made a mistake. Minseok was within reach and clearly affected by the previous night activities. “I would love to but it will hurt us to part after that,” Minseok looked at him in shock, as it felt like a rejection and Luhan could read that in his face. “It is already painful for me to leave, Minseok.”

“Then you got nothing to lose,” Minseok pleaded tearing up further and a apologetic Luhan pulled him to a kiss, “I want more than a drunken memory of you, Luhan, please,” Minseok whispered as they parted and Luhan nodded, giving in. “When?”

“You got the final project on Wednesday, right?” Minseok nodded, surprised Luhan knew about his schedule, “come to my house soon after, okay? I’ll wait for you,” Luhan promised as he stepped back. He picked his jacket and walked toward the door before looking at Minseok, “See you then.”

It was a promise that made Minseok live the following days with excitement, as soon as he handed his PhD thesis, he flew to Luhan’s house and knocked. Luhan opened his door with a spatula in hand, “Just in time for a cup of coffee. I made pancakes.” 

Minseok looked at him surprised and smiled, “I came in time, huh?” Luhan smiled to him as they got in the kitchen. Minseok noticed the coffee and the still warm pancakes, “Can I help you in anything?”

“Make yourself comfortable,” Luhan leaned to kiss his nose and Minseok blushed, “I did set some clothes for you in my bedroom.” Minseok nodded and left to the bedroom. He smiled at the sight of the bed where Luhan wrecked him and would probably fuck him good in, before noticing the baggy shirt and the loose pants. Minseok smirked to himself and simply wore the shirt. He could guess it was too long to show his underwear, and he was right. He joined Luhan next and hugged the man who was busy washing his mess.

Luhan hummed in content as Minseok rested on him. They remained silent until Luhan finished and turned to face Minseok. It took the man a moment to notice, “What… what are you wearing?” 

“The shirt you gave me?” Minseok looked at the shirt, pulling it a little to show Luhan he was indeed without pants, “why?”

Luhan said nothing for a while, “fuck, you are a tease.” 

Minseok chuckled and Luhan leaned to kiss him fast before leading him to the table. They sat and spoke rather casually, despite the tension that rose in the room. Luhan seemed more focused on knowing Minseok better and Minseok appreciated that. They took it to the living room, watching a movie as they sipped the remaining for their coffee. Minseok sat close enough to Luhan and Luhan smiled as he rested his arm on Minseok, watching the movie. It was cozy, intimate, and so domestic. Minseok could imagine they would spend most their nights like this if they were together. They would fight and bicker but still spend a Saturday night like this.

“What are you thinking of?” Minseok snapped out of his thoughts and noticed Luhan’s eyes on him, “you looked sad for a second,” Minseok smiled and shook his head, resting it further in Luhan’s shoulder, “this is nice. This is very nice.”

“This is perfect,” Minseok couldn’t help and mumbled it sadly. Luhan sighed as he held on Minseok closer and they remained like this for a while before Minseok looked up, “I was thinking we could have spent our Saturdays like this if…” 

“If you were mine,” Luhan finished and leaned to kiss Minseok, “I’ll definitely make it an everyday thing, Minseok. Eat with you, talk to you, and be like this with you, and by the end of the day, I make love to you until no part of your body can move.” Minseok blushed as Luhan pulled his face closer, “I would love that.”

A kiss swallowed Minseok’s words and he melted in it as he held on Luhan. Their hands remained in the other’s cheeks or jaw until they ended the kiss. Minseok was breathless but knew he meant it, “I like you,” Luhan blinked at him, “I always had a big crush on you, but you didn’t see me;” Luhan chuckled.

“Isn’t it funny? I had a crush on you too, since I saw you in class the first time,” Luhan looked in verge of crying and Minseok simply kissed him, deepening the kiss as soon as Luhan allowed him, “I just knew I had to leave someday and never return, Minseok,” Luhan whispered, breathless, and Minseok nodded.

“It’s okay. We have now, we can live our fantazy now and tomorrow is another day,” Minseok encouraged Luhan to stand, “let us take it to the bed, Luhan,” Luhan didn’t move, “Make love to me, Luhan.” 

Luhan stood and pulled Minseok to a hug, “I like you,” he whispered, sadly before lifting the shirt. Minseok was suddenly pinned in a wall, kissed softly, as hands roamed slowly in his body. Minseok could only whimper and grow hard as whatever Luhan did to him was making him feel edging pleasure. He pushed his own underwear down, not waiting for Luhan to do that and crossed his wrist behind Luhan’s neck. Luhan felt the man’s nudity and smiled in his kiss as he caressed the man’s shaft, noticing the eagerness.

Minseok moaned when Luhan’s hands went to his butt cheeks and squeezed them apart, he gasped when Luhan pulled the shirt up enough to cover his face and stepped back. Minseok could see Luhan pick up his phone and approaching him, “can I take a picture of you, Minseok?” 

Minseok took the shirt and looked at the sad Luhan, “of me?”

“Yes,” Luhan smiled, “a reminder that I had this,” Luhan caressed Minseok’s body as he said so, “at some point of my life.” 

Minseok smiled, “if I can have a picture of us too, yes you can.” Luhan smiled and stepped back while Minseok rested his arms up, glad he had shaved his entire body before coming, and looked at the camera as he was inviting Luhan to come and do him already. Luhan smiled to the picture and Minseok rushed to see, “I don’t like this one.” 

“I will take more and let you chose for me the one you prefer,” Minseok blushed and nodded as he pulled Luhan to inside the bedroom. He fell in bed and noticed Luhan take a picture before showing him. Minseok had seen himself naked but the submission in his face made him blush.

“This is so suggestive,” Minseok whined but couldn’t speak as Luhan just threw the phone away and pulled off his shirt. Minseok picked up the phone, taking a picture of himself with a small wink, noticing the blush in his face before looking at Luhan who leaned to kiss him. He simply snapped a picture of Luhan’s head resting on his shoulder, from the side, and smiled to himself, “Can I have this one?”

Luhan chuckled and nodded, “it’s an intimate one, I like it,” Luhan looked at him and kissed him softly, “I like you,” Minseok blushed before receiving Luhan’s kiss with glee. He spread himself further as Luhan caressed his inner tights and soon held them to push Minseok a bit up in bed. They lied down and cuddled naked for what seemed hours, kissing slowly, softly, smoothly. They spent that night like that, casually sliding under the cover, still cuddled and still acting like an old couple.

Suddenly, in the middle of that, Luhan’s hand found itself in Minseok’s butt cheek, softly caressing it in circular motions, “hungry?” He asked the suddenly aroused Minseok.

“Yeah, I am hungry,” Minseok pulled him and bite his neck softly, “I want to eat you,” Luhan chuckled and soon he pushed his finger inside Minseok. That is how Minseok found himself, on his knees, holding on the sheets and burying his face in the pillow as Luhan sank deep inside him, the whole night. Luhan didn’t manage his strength either, giving Minseok everything he could give. 

The first round had Minseok sobbing but as Luhan made him rest in the bed with worried looks, he smiled, “it was so beautiful,” Minseok denied his pain and pulled his ankles up, forcing them apart, “I want more. Please, some more.” 

Luhan kissed him at that, sliding back in, and rammed inside Minseok’s oversensitive walls. Minseok was going insane from pleasure as the second time he released was draining. Luhan left his side and picked towels to clean him up, kissing his hips and mumbling soft apologies. Once cleaned, Luhan and Minseok slept in bed, cuddled, and content beyond their mind. 

Luhan woke up sometime in the night and looked at the man in his bed. He was feeling guilty because Minseok was going to stay here while he had someone waiting for him in China. A boyfriend he loved despite his feelings for Minseok. He gave Minseok everything because it was true Luhan had a crush, but also he was way too guilty to ignore Minseok's wishes and desires. 

Minseok was beautiful and had a heart of gold, but Luhan wasn’t sure about how he felt for misleading Minseok like that. Luhan spoke about liking Minseok because he did, he liked him, and he liked him enough to fuck him, just not to stay.

He was thinking of it when his phone rang suddenly. He noticed it was around the time his boyfriend got out of work, “Yifan?” he spoke eagerly as he left the room, not even closing the door properly, “did you just leave work? It’s six am there?” 

“No, four, I got out earlier,” Yifan sounded cheerful, “I missed talking to you,” Luhan felt tears well up at that.

“Me too, Ge,” Luhan looked at the open bedroom and looked away, “I’ll be there Friday, and I’ll definitely bury myself in your arms.” Yifan laughed at that and Luhan smiled, “I missed you so much, Ge, I am glad I can see you.”

Yifan hummed at that, clearly happy. “I made sure to clear my week, just to spend it with you.”

“I would love to go on a date as soon as I reach home but dad wants me to come home,” Yifan hummed, “so I’ll see you Monday, at most.”

“Cool for me, as long as you never leave again,” Luhan sighed and looked at the space ahead sadly, “I truly missed you, Lu.”

“I missed you more, my love,” Luhan sniffed, “I know it is my fault that we are apart, I caused this, and I am sorry.” 

“It is not your fault, Lu,” Yifan reassured and soon changed the subject. 

Little did he know that Minseok was awake and did knew a decent amount of Chinese. He heard and knew what everything meant. He wanted to cry but he swallowed it in.  _ It is okay, I am not meant to have him for me. It’s okay. This is okay. _

Minseok kept his body still until Luhan came back to bed, pulling the laptop and working on it. He didn’t move until his side hurt and he shifted. Luhan paused but said nothing, patting on Minseok’s head occasionally as he worked. That is how Minseok went back to sleep. 

In the morning, he woke up finding himself alone and remained in bed for a moment before picking Luhan’s shirt and walking out of the room to the shower. He stood under the warm water thinking of who Luhan was talking to. His lover? An ex he planned to come back to? His boyfriend? A fiancée? Why did Luhan accept his request if he had someone already? It made him feel so betrayed. 

However, did that make any differences? Everything was from Minseok's eagerness and unexplainable want to steal some meaningless moments. 

He was so deep in thoughts that he flinched when arms circled him, “good morning,” Luhan rested on him as he drank the water from Minseok’s shoulder, “you zoned out.”

“I am sorry, I was tired,” Minseok didn’t know how he found in himself to act normal. He even invitingly wiggled his butt on Luhan’s length. Luhan noticed but instead of pushing it in, he ended the shower and took Minseok back to the bedroom, giving him something warm to wear. Minseok could only watch, feeling numb. He smiled to Luhan when the man returned to his side. 

“You are so cute,” Luhan commented as he helped Minseok wear his clothes and leaned to kiss him deeper and Minseok gave in.

He gave his all not because he was eager to keep Luhan close but because he knew he reached a point of no return. Nothing explained what he did in his mind.

When Luhan stretched his wall again that morning, Minseok was giving more and more, pleading Luhan to mark him forever, only to realize later. He gave in as if he was going to die tomorrow, and he probably considered it safe to kill this side of him as soon as the day ends. 

They had sex for most of the day, having breaks between each round to act sickeningly cute and take pictures, and Luhan didn't plan to say goodbye. It was painful enough to even think of it. So instead, he kissed Minseok's head and kept him close. He eyed his already packed bags as he kept playing with Minseok's hand. He could wake Minseok and send him over first but he had no strength to face Minseok's tears. He picked his phone, sending Chanyeol a message so he can come over on Sunday and clean the house before returning the keys.

Chanyeol was surprised at why didn't Luhan clean his house yet but Luhan dismissed it with a simple excuse,"I have to present my theasis today and head to the aeport as soon as I do." Chanyeol agreed and Luhan left the bed to the shower. He read the time noticing it was 4 am and he was scoffed tiredly as he stripped, putting the dirty laundry in a small bag before picking clothes from his bag. He looked at the sleeping beauty in his bed for a moment, feeling regretful and guilty, and left the room to stand under a streaming warm water. The water washed the pain from his shoulders as he relaxed and covered his tears. As he left the shower and dressed up, he leaned to kiss Minseok's lips one last time before pulling his bags to the door. 

As he took his breakfast in a 24/7 open coffee shop, Luhan went through his papers and his work before deciding that leaving without a goodbye was a bad idea.

The following morning, Minseok woke up alone and knew he wasn’t going to see Luhan anymore. 

It was over.

He slept back because his lower body was too sore and numb but as soon as he got up, he found he had slept for twelve more hours and had at least fifty messages and five emails. He noticed Luhan’s email among them, sending him the pictures they took the entire time with words he didn't dare to read. He knew it was a pitiful way to say goodbye but he prefered that to facing Luhan with a fake facade he didn't own.

He saw the pictures and instead of downloading them as he told Luhan he would, he just ignored the email and stepped out of the house with empty heart.

He spent the following years of his life hating himself to the point he hated on Luhan in order to relieve some of the pain. Not that it did work.

Baekhyun was worried for him as they kept touch and tried to hook Minseok with nice people, only for Minseok to be a one night stand, “Hyung,” Baekhyun didn’t know what to tell Minseok when the last man he hooked Minseok up with ignored Baekhyun too, “I am sorry.”

“No, I am,” Minseok chuckled, “I am sorry I am making you do this, Baek,” Minseok stood to face his friend with a lifeless smile, “but it is time for you to stop. I am fine the way I am.” Baekhyun knew he wasn’t but he truly had no idea how to fix what was left broken in Minseok’s heart.

Nobody did. Fighting his way out of depression, Minseok found his refuge in dieting and working out, somehow trying to not give in to his crappy coping mechanism. He tried to keep up, truly, and he lost a lot of weight by the time he met Luhan again.

“Minseok,” Luhan felt out of breath as he faced Minseok who did notice him and simply stood in the elevator the man was in. Luhan couldn’t say a word. Minseok was breathtaking in a suit, hair pushed back, with that serious expressionless face.

Minseok on the other hand felt his body wobble but he spent the last five years beating himself up and hating on Luhan and himself that he held himself from expressing anything. Thinking it was for the best to ignore Luhan, he simply bowed to him as he pressed the button, “you are here to meet the Manager?” 

“Oh, the CEO actually,” Luhan was flustered uncontrollably, noticing that Minseok just nodded and looked away, “you work here?” 

“I’m one of the managers in the marketing department,” Minseok tonelessly spoke and Luhan frowned at that because it didn’t sound like the Minseok he knew at all or loved at all. “The CEO must be waiting for you, as we heard about a possible merge with the Chinese market.” 

“Yeah,” Luhan wanted to say more but the door opened and Minseok stepped out, bowing to him and walking away. It was shocking how cold Minseok treated him, but then he realized five years passed by then and people tend to change. 

He did too. A lot.

Sighing, Luhan headed to the CEO office, led by the secretary, he tried to focus and did for a moment before feeling his mind drift to Minseok’s sunken look. He was beautiful, dazzling, but still thinner than he left him and looked tired, extremely. He forced himself to focus as the CEO finally finished talking and he had to read the portfolio, “The Marketing team had prepared a detailed presentation of this project, if you can follow me,” the man stood and Luhan followed.

He couldn’t stop his guts from tightening but he didn’t see Minseok neither in the presentation nor in the meeting. He was disappointed but then, he had to focus and he tried his best, which he considered enough. He discussed with the CEO and the directors for a while when Minseok got in, as they wrapped up the meeting, “Mr. Kim, you were absent in the meeting,” The CEO had a smirk on his lips when Minseok offered him a folder.

“Here is the research you asked me to do for the project I was assigned to do, Mr. Jung,” Minseok didn’t blink, “It is including costs, probability of the growth of our market, just like you asked me,” Minseok bowed at that and stepped aside for them to walk out.

“Thank you, Mr. Kim,” the old man looked at Luhan who was looking intensely at Minseok, “Mr. Xi, this is our best element in the marketing department, Mr. Kim Minseok,” the man patted on Minseok as he pushed the man out of the meeting room, “Mr. Kim, this is Xi Luhan, the future CEO of the Wengsho multinational holding.” 

Minseok looked surprised, for a mere second, and bowing expressionlessly again, “It’s a pleasure,” Luhan wanted to point out they were together in the same college, he wanted to mention that they knew each other but Minseok simply excused himself before he could and Luhan only followed the CEO to finalize the contracts.

Lunch came with contracts in hand, Luhan was happy about that, and he nearly left the company when he recalled that Minseok’s lunch break should be anytime then, he simply approached the reception and asked her if Mr. Kim Minseok was going to eat lunch out, she was kind to call and ask Minseok who told her that he indeed he was. 

Luhan smiled warmly to her, “tell him his friend is waiting for him in the parking lot,” and he waited. He waited for what seemed hours but barely ten minutes passed when Minseok showed up.

He looked around, expressionlessly but looked way more stoic when he noticed Luhan. It made Luhan awkward but he still approached Minseok who stood there, blinking tiredly, “shall we go eat? It is my threat.” Luhan held Minseok’s hand and the man flinched away.

“I doubt your lover will appreciate it,” Luhan paled, “have a nice lunch, Mr. Xi.” Minseok turned after bowing and Luhan was fast to hold him a bit tighter. Minseok didn’t manage strength to push him away, “do not touch me!” 

“Minseok,” Luhan was beyond astonished, he didn’t expect such outburst. 

Minseok simply walked out of the parking lot when Luhan hugged him, shielding himself behind Minseok, “Let me go,” Minseok ordered, bitter, mad and extremely hurt, “Let me go.”

“Let us talk, one last time. Just talk.” Luhan whispered in Minseok’s ear, “I want to talk to you, for five minutes.” Minseok nodded, but Luhan didn’t let go.

“I am all ears, Mr. Xi,” Luhan sighed and held Minseok’s hand, pulling him to the car. Minseok didn’t resist but didn’t seem to let his guards down. Once in the car, he crossed his arms, “Well?”

“Yes, I had a boyfriend back in college,” Minseok scoffed, since he knew and he didn’t forget the burn it gave him that night and how degrading it made him treat himself, “but I was honest with you, I loved you and still…”

“Shut up,” Minseok growled, “you don’t know what love is, Mr. Xi. You just know how to hurt people and leave them to bleed out,” Minseok didn’t realize he was shedding tears until a sob bubbled in his throat. Luhan simply pulled his phone and gave it to Minseok who blinked to him, “What is it?” 

“Look for yourself,” Luhan offered and Minseok held the phone that soon lit on a picture of him, all clothed, looking younger than he was, “I took it around the second year of college,” Minseok frowned, “I got more in the gallery, a whole folder of you,” Luhan offered as he pointed somewhere when Minseok clicked on the gallery, “oh you understand Chinese.”

“I studied Chinese in high school,” Minseok simply stated as his eyes looked for a folder, even if he saw his own name written in a folder. There was no pictures of Luhan with anyone else, “you are tricking me again, aren’t you? Why don't you have pictures of your boyfriend in your phone? Why me?” 

“We broke up, in a painful way,” Luhan admitted, picking the phone to show Minseok one single picture, the only picture he had with Yifan, back when they were both in high school, “he was my best friend and childhood friend, Minseok, dating him was probably a mistake, and I knew that. My dad found out about us and enrolled me in the university you were in, I met you, fell for your charms while he found a routine without me.” Luhan’s tears welled up, “he had a life I couldn’t fit in, there was no space.” 

“There is no space here either,” Minseok spitted angry for many reasons he couldn't list, “you left me way more lost and heartbroken than I should be and you know, I never blamed you for it because I wanted it, back then I wanted it so bad,” Luhan sighed sadly as he looked away, “but in the end, I was your little toy, like I was everybody else’s toy.” 

It snapped Luhan’s attention toward him, “everybody else?” 

“I tried to date after you, Lu, only to end up as a one night stand,” Minseok looked so hurt that moment, ashamed of how depression led him to that road, “I wanted to recover what you left broken in me but they only opened the wound further and further!” 

“Minseok,” Luhan tried to hold Minseok who flinched away, “I am sorry.”

“I am sorry too,” Minseok opened the door, “but I don’t want to see your face again,” they shared a look, “ever.” Minseok left at that, even if deep inside, a small part of his heart was still screaming for Luhan to come back, he knew it was for the best. 

There was no future for his broken heart and in the end, he accepted that.


End file.
